Freaky Wednesday WTF?
by EvaH2Os
Summary: Sometimes it takes a little magic to bring two people together. Patrick and Kat wake up in each other's bodies...
1. Chapter 1

Kat rolled over in bed and groaned. She glanced up at the clock. It was six am, and she didn't have to be up for another hour. Rolling over, she tried to go back to sleep, but unfortunately she needed to pee. Badly.

Not bothering to turn on the lights, she got out of bed slowly. Despite tripping over a shoe, she made her way to the bathroom door. She opened it, and once again without turning on the lights, lipped off her pants and went to take a seat.

"Fuck," she yelled landing on her but. She felt something hit against her upper thigh. She reached a hand down to swat it away.

"Fuck," she yelled again. That heart, badly, and her voice sounded weird. Kat quickly reached around for a light switch. She rubbed her eyes as the small room became illuminated. This was not her bathroom.

She looked around. This was definitely a closet, but not hers. She recognized a shirt hanging up. It belonged to Patrick.

"Fuck," she said a third time. She sounded like Patrick. Quickly she bolted out of the closet and through the next door. This was a bathroom and there was a mirror and there was Patrick Verona's face staring back at her.

She felt a warmth run down her leg as she screamed.

* * *

"Do you have any tampons?"

Patrick groaned and rolled back over.

"Wake up, bonehead."

Patrick opened his eyes groggily. Was that Bianca Stratford staring at him?

"How did you get in here?" He grumbled wondering if he was dreaming.

"The door," she shrugged. Patrick put his head in his pillow. His parents were out of town, and he may have forgotten to lock the door, but he never actually thought people would come wandering in.

"Well, do you have any?" Bianca asked.

"Any what?" Patrick grumbled again picking up his face. Yep, Bianca was definitely in his room.

"Tampons?" she asked angrily.

"Why would I have tampons, go away." He grumbled.

"Then I need you to take me to the store before school. Get up!" Bianca said slapping him in the face.

"Why would I take you?" He mumbled.

"I can't drive." She muttered.

"How'd you get here?" Patrick asked.

"From my room to your room? I walked, believe it or not." Bianca said, looking seriously annoyed.

"Why should I take you?" He grumbled, "Get out of my house."

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Kat?" Bianca said, giving Patrick an odd look.

"What did you call me?" Patrick asked.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Katerina." Bianca rolled her eyes, and went across the room. Patrick sat up. This wasn't his room.

He jumped out of bed and looked in the mirror in the corner of his room. He screamed.

"What the hell, Kat?" Bianca asked.

"Sorry, it's the morning. I'm out of it." Patrick said, trying to get her to leave.

"Well, get dressed and let's go." Bianca said throwing a pair of jeans at Patrick.

"I, uh, have an errand to make first." Patrick said, groaning of the thought of Kat in his body. She had to be, right?

"I'm bleeding here!" Bianca yelled.

"Ew," Patrick mumbled, "Get out, and I'll get changed."

"Fine, but hurry up!" Bianca yelled as she stormed out.

Patrick searched through Kat's desk before he found her cell phone. He dialed his number in a frenzy.

* * *

Kat heard something, a ringing. Quickly she exited the bathroom and found a phone lying on the bedside table. She recognized the number flashing on the screen as her own.

"What did you do?"

It was her voice talking to her. Too weird!

"What did you do?" Kat yelled back.

"You're the dark one." Patrick yelled.

"I didn't do anything. Give me my body back!" Kat whined.

"You can't whine in my voice! I'm a man." Patrick responded.

"What are we going to do?" Kat asked.

"I don't know? Just, we'll meet up at school and figure this out." Patrick replied.

"Don't shower." Kat mumbled.

"Excuse me?" Patrick replied.

"I don't want you looking at my body." Kat whined again. Patrick shuddered at hearing his voice whine.

"So, you just want me to wear your pajamas to school?" Patrick asked.

"Just don't look." Kat responded.

"Hurry up!" Kat heard Bianca yell.

"Don't tell Bianca," Kat warned, "she'll think I'm doing drugs."

"Can you just come here and take her shopping for her girl stuff?" Patrick asked.

"Suck it up," Kat groaned and hung up. This was going to be a weird day, but hopefully only a day…at most…she needed to get out of this body.


	2. Chapter 2

Kat stared at herself in the mirror for what seemed like the thousandth time. She was a man. She felt the scruff on Patrick's face, and nervously looked down the trail of hair starting around her belly button.

"This is so wrong," she muttered before stepping into the shower. She knew it was kind of hypocritical of her to be showering after she yelled at Patrick about it, but he smelled.

Lathering up her body, she stared down at her newest appendage. Did boys wash them? She decided she'd rather not touch it for now, and quickly finished her shower.

She briefly considered wearing a suit or a pink shirt, but she figured she'd best not piss Patrick off. He very well could show up to school in a dress or an all leather outfit. She groaned just thinking about the possibilities. She was glad that her screaming sister didn't awake her this morning though. She wondered how Patrick was dealing with her. He'd mentioned something about taking her shopping; Kat figured he could tuff it out.

Kat quickly pulled on some clothes from the floor, and went downstairs to grab something to eat. Patrick's body was starving.

"Hello?" she called, looking around. No one was home, but there was a list of emergency numbers on the fridge. She guessed Patrick's family was on vacation. Kat opened the fridge to see a nice selection of food. She grabbed a cake figuring if she wasn't in her body she might as well indulge.

After finishing off a slice she headed to school. She liked the whole showering and go thing. No make up, no sister, no dad making sure her breakfast was balanced. Maybe this wouldn't be all that terrible.

* * *

"Let's go," Patrick said, finally having managed to get dressed. It took him about a full ten minutes trying to put a bra on before he found a sports bra. He figured if he could get them off he could them on, but sadly it didn't quite work that way. Then he's washed Kat's face, brushed her teeth, and figured he was good to go.

He knew she usually wore some type of makeup or perfume, but he couldn't be bothered to figure it out today. Kat would simply have to embrace the natural look today.

"What the hell are you wearing?" Bianca laughed, she crossed her arms and looked Patrick up and down.

"What's wrong with this?" Patrick asked, feeling oddly self-conscious.

"Didn't you sleep in that shirt?" Bianca asked.

"So?" Patrick shrugged. It wasn't dirty.

"Why are you wearing a sports bra?" Bianca asked.

"You can tell?" Patrick was amazed.

"Yes," she said as if it were obvious.

"Didn't you need me to take you somewhere?" Patrick reminded her. He was getting annoyed at all this judgment so early in the morning.

"Yeah, come on." Bianca said handing Patrick Kat's bag. Patrick awkwardly put it around his shoulder and headed outside to where he figured Kat's car was.

"No breakfast?' He heard a male voice call. Patrick stopped in his tracks.

"No thanks Dad." Bianca called. Patrick sighed, realizing it was just Mr. Stratford.

"Well, at least I know you're not eating for two." Mr. Stratford mumbled. Patrick couldn't help but chuckle as he continued to the car.

"Since when do you find Dad amusing?" Bianca asked.

"Stop PMS-ing at me," Patrick rolled his eyes. Bianca let out an annoyed sigh.

"What's wrong with you? Up all night dreaming of Patrick?" Bianca chuckled. Patrick slammed on the breaks.

"Were you?" Bianca said, suddenly becoming much more alert.

"Do I like him?' Patrick asked.

"Well, I think so." Bianca mumbled.

"Me too," Patrick smirked.

"Knew it," Bianca sung.

"Tell your friends," Patrick shrugged as he pulled up to a CVS.

"Are you stoned?" Bianca asked suddenly.

"Don't you need girl stuff," Patrick made a face. Bianca gave him a weird look before getting out of the car.

"You coming?" she asked.

"No," Patrick shook his head. He had no intentions of learning that side of being a girl. Bianca shrugged and ran inside. Patrick began flipping through Kat's CDs.

* * *

"Your body is infuriating." Patrick huffed.

"Your body is always hungry!" Kat said, finally seeing Patrick.

"I'm a man," Patrick yelled. Kat couldn't help but giggle at seeing her body yell this.

"Not anymore," Kat grinned.

"Look, how do we reverse this?" Patrick asked

"Well, in Wish Upon a Star they made the wish on a star at the same time, but only after bonding as sisters" Kat mused.

"In that Lindsay Lohan movie her and her mom ate fortune cookies." Patrick added.

"Have you seen that movie?" Kat grinned.

"I have a little girl cousin," Patrick defended crossing his arms.

"Whatever, you're loving being a girl." Kat teased.

"As if," Patrick said, "So, Chinese food and star gazing tonight?'

"You asking me out?" Kat raised an eyebrow.

"I'm asking you to get out of my body," Patrick rolled his eyes.

"Yeah fine whatever, see you tonight." Kat nodded, as the bell rang and she ran off. She felt a small hand on her shoulder though.

"My class schedule," Patrick said handing her a folded piece of paper.

"Oh," Kat groaned, "There's a copy of mine in the front pocket of that bag,"

* * *

"Dude, see the fashion show last night?"

Kat turned around in her desk. Someone was talking to her, or well, Patrick.

"Uh, what?" she asked. Fashion show?

"The Victoria's Secret Fashion show. They replayed it last night." The boy smirked.

"No, I don't objectify girls, asshole." Kat hissed.

"Dude, you're too great." The boy said putting his hand in front of his mouth to keep from laughing in class. Kat glared at him. Who knew Patrick actually had friends?

"Dude, the rhinestone bra. I died." The boy continued.

"Can we not?" Kat asked, motioning towards the front of the classroom. Men were pigs. Kat looked at the clock on the wall. She still had hours to go in this body, and she had to pee again. Damn, this body for always being hungry and thirsty.

Kat stood up and took the bathroom pass. She walked to the bathrooms and hesitated for a moment before entering the men's bathroom. It was empty thank god. She stepped in front of the urinals.

"I don't think I can do this," she muttered shaking her head. She headed for a stall. This was too weird. She stood for a few minutes before realizing if she didn't figure out what to do Patrick might pee on the floor again. With a chuckle, she considered the idea, but she knew the payback would be a bitch.

Finally, she sat down and did her best to keep her eyes on the ceiling. Finishing up she exited the stall to see none other than herself entering the bathroom.

"You can't be in here!" she hissed at Patrick.

"Did you just pee sitting down?' He smiled.

"Could you just hold it until we switch back?" Kat asked.

"Uh, no." Patrick answered with a frown, "that's why I'm in here."

"You're a lady now. Deal with it," Kat said pushing him towards the door.

"There are other girls in there." Patrick whined.

"They wont talk to you don't worry." Kat rolled her eyes.

"And if they do?" he asked.

"They won't bite." Kat said shoving her body out the door.


	3. Chapter 3

Patrick nervously found his way into the girl's bathroom. He looked around, moderately afraid. He'd always dreamed of being in here when he was younger. Seeing what was hidden inside. He'd assumed there would be couches and maybe even a Jacuzzi. Sadly, the bathroom looked almost identical to the men's bathroom. Except of course, the five or so girls standing at the mirrors putting on lip-gloss.

"What?" One of them turned around.

"Nothing, sorry," Patrick mumbled before making his way into a stall. He'd hoped this wouldn't have to happen. He'd meticulously been avoiding beverages all day, but low and behold Kat had to pee. HE supposed it could be worse though as he took a seat, shuddering at the fact that he could no longer do his business standing up.

* * *

Kat flipped through the channels again, finding it hard to believe that there was nothing on TV she felt like watching. Patrick had almost 400 channels, and nothing she wanted to watch. She briefly wondered if skipping out after third period had been the best idea. But, she didn't really care. She figured Patrick skipped all the time anyhow, and his parents were out of town.

Kat finally stopped at the Disney channel after a rerun of Hannah Montana caught her eye. She wondered briefly if she could film herself watching this to use against Patrick one day.

Then again, she had his body. There had to be a million and one things she could do and take photos of, oh but that was evil. Kat tried to push the ideas flooding her mind away and focus on the TV, but she couldn't help herself. She needed the future ammunition. She just had to hope that Patrick wasn't having the same kind of thoughts.

Then again, he was in charge of Bianca, so she doubted he was going to have any free time. She could be a bit of an overdramatic nightmare.

* * *

"So then Chastity told Emma that-"

"Can you stop," Patrick had enough of Bianca's gossiping. He honestly couldn't have cared less.

"Why are you being so weird?" Bianca asked.

"What are you talking about?" Patrick asked. He'd assumed Kat always was bitchy and weird so he didn't really know what he was doing wrong.

"Are you on drugs?" Bianca asked completely serious.

"No," Patrick groaned.

"Pregnant?" Bianca raised an eyebrow.

"No," Patrick laughed this time.

"Is it a boy?" Bianca asked.

"I'm not pregnant." Patrick practically choked.

"I mean that's got you tripping," Bianca sighed.

"Tripping?" Patrick laughed, "God no."

"I'm going to figure it out." Bianca shrugged, "and dad's going to make you take a urine test."

"Yeah, right." Patrick laughed. Bianca gave him a strange look, and Patrick had to wonder if their dad really was that strict.

"If I was still eight, I'd think you weren't my sister." Bianca squinted at Patrick.

"Go call Chastity," Patrick brushed her off as he finally pulled into their driveway. Bianca was still talking, but Patrick rushed inside and up the stairs so he wouldn't have to deal with Kat's family. They were a bit overwhelming.

Patrick quickly pulled Kat's phone from his pocket and dialed his own number.

"What's up?" his voice answered him. He shivered, he would never get used to that, but hopefully he wouldn't have to.

"Can we make it an early dinner?" He barked back at himself.

"I wont be hungry." Kat answered in his voice.

"Why? I'm always hungry." He responded.

"You may have just consumed three slices of cake." Kat giggled. It sounded so wrong.

"Stop eating, and you'll be hungry again by five." Patrick said, frustration evident in his voice.

"Fine, see you then, but put on a real bra and a better shirt if we're going to eat in public." Kat responded. Patrick felt like he could hear her smirking at him.

"I'll try," he grumbled back, staring down at his new breasts. They were larger than he'd originally thought. At least she was pretty much giving him permission to try them out.

"And don't – I repeat do not- let my dad know this is a date. We're doing a group project if he asks." Kat informed him.

"Alright, what about the brat?" Patrick asked.

"Bianca knows how to keep her mouth shut, but she can be annoying. Use your own judgment." Kat said, "but she'll pick out your clothes if you tell her, and that's something that you might need help on, but pretend you don't and it annoys you."

"Thanks," Patrick said, "but wait, Cant you just come here and help me?"

Kat chuckled into the phone, "My dad would never let you come upstairs and I can't scale a window the way you can."

"I could come there." Patrick suggested, feeling uncomfortable in her room.

"No," Kat responded a little too quickly, "Look, I'll come get you in two hours," and with that the line went dead

Patrick stared at the phone for a minute before throwing it on the bed, and with a smile his shirt soon followed. He figured it might actually take him the two hours to get her dressed.

He went through her closet briefly before discovering a black shirt that he thought was quite nice, and he figured it would go fine with the jeans Bianca had thrown at him that morning.

Finding a black bra in one of her drawers, he took of the sports bra slowly. He actually began to feel a bit guilty as he stared at his new topless image in the mirror by Kat's desk.

But, there was no way Kat hadn't looked at his body yet. He ran a hand up and down his side for a minute before leaving them on his boobs.

Too weird, he decided before grabbing for the bra. He could get it on fine, but he couldn't quite get the back to work. He considered taping it for a moment, but finally figured out he could hook it around his stomach and then pull it back up.

After getting it on, he took a moment to do a victory dance. He couldn't help but to grin after catching a reflection of that in the mirror. Tossing on the shirt he'd picked out, he decided he was ready. He checked the clock to see that he still had over an hour though.

Smirking to himself he decided maybe it could be fun to test out some make up. He had the power to have Kat look at great as he wanted her too while dating him tonight. Maybe this could be a fun experience.


	4. Chapter 4

Kat sat in Patrick's car nervously. Patrick, sadly in her body, was supposed to meet her outside her house right about now. She hoped her dad hadn't stopped him. It was a school night, after all.

Finally, Kat thought, as she saw her door open and her own body step out. Holy shit, was her next thought. She leaned forward in the drivers seat, and stared at herself. Patrick hd dressed her in a skintight black dress, and full make up. She wondered how the hell he knew how to put on make up, and if that was Bianca's dress or if he'd actually gone shopping for this.

As Patrick got closer to the car, Kat felt an odd sensation below her waist. She, or well his body, was aroused. Was it weird that her own body aroused her or was this purely a Patrick's body thing?

"Hello, honey." Patrick greeted her. It was way too weird. The feeling was lost.

"What are you wearing?" Kat had to ask.

"Bianca did everything. Looks like I found a way to calm her down. Who knew dressing you was so fun?" Patrick smirked

"Don't let her get used to it," Kat rolled her eyes. She rubbed at her chin, the scruffiness of it was growing aggravating. She prayed she'd be out of this body by tonight or else she'd have to foray into the world of face shaving tomorrow.

"So, where we going?" Patrick asked.

"I found the most ethnic Chinese place possible. I can't pronounce the name or read the menu, so I'm hoping that'll work. But, if not, I have a blanket and my yard is perfect for stargazing.

"I don't see your dad going for that. Bianca had to distract him so I could get out the door in this outfit." Patrick commented.

"Aw, you two are working together." Kat chuckled, as she pulled onto the freeway.

"How far is this place?" Patrick asked, picking up a sheet of paper printed from the Internet.

"Twenty minutes, and had better be totally worth it. Don't worry though, I'll have you back before curfew." Kat said, grabbing back the directions.

"You have a curfew?" Patrick laughed.

"Yea, douche bag. My dad worried. He means well, even though it just kind of looks like he's crazy." Kat explained.

"Well, you wont have to worry about my family. They're never around. I watch my cousin sometimes, but my dad and step mom like to travel. So, why let their son stop them?" Patrick rubbed his temples. Kat wondered if her girl hormones had anything to do with his admission. She'd never expect him to be so honest with her.

"What about your mom?" Kat asked, hoping she wasn't treading on anything too serious.

"Albuquerque." Patrick shrugged, "I visit her for Christmas and a week or two every summer."

"Wait, so did you bake that cake?" Kat couldn't help but ask. If his step mom was never around…

"What? I'm an excellent chef." Patrick said puffing out his chest. The movement would have made him look manly if he didn't currently have a pair of boobs.

"I make a mean vegan burger." Kat smiled.

"You haven't had a veggie burger till you've had my black bean burger. I'll cook for you sometime." Patrick said. Kat had a minor heart attack. He'd cook for her? Did he realize what he was saying? That was pretty much a future date.

"We're never going to get there if you keep going thirty on the freeway," Patrick said, tapping her knee.

"Sorry," Kat said, hoping she wasn't blushing.

"What about your situation? Were is the woman that spawned you?" Patrick asked.

"She walked out on us a long time ago," Kat answered, "then died."

"Shit, sorry," Patrick said. Kat could tell that he felt like an ass for his previous comment.

"It's okay. It was a long time ago. But, my dad's great. Hopefully, you wont get to see, though." Kat laughed.

"Well, if you're still in my body, Saturday night you'll get to baby sit my cousin Jane." Patrick said, glancing over at the directions again and noticing their exit coming up. "She'll be the only family member of mine you can meet. She's six. Her nanny gets Saturday nights off." Patrick gave a soft smile.

"Your family sounds…" Kat paused for a moment not sure how to phrase what she wanted to say. Emotionally distant, stuck up, dysfunctional, "…rich." She decided.

"We're well off," Patrick shrugged.

"Good, then I'll pay for dinner." Kat smiled, patting the wallet in her pocket.

"Of course," Patrick shook his head. Kat pulled into a parking spot in front of the restaurant, and he laughed. The sign was in Chinese. Kat had gone all out.

"Well, if you're in my body Monday morning, you'll get to meet my Aunt flow." Kat smirked at him.

"What?" Patrick asked before realizing what she meant, "Fuck no."

"I felt I should warn you. Now lets try to make this work." Kat said, unbuckling her seatbelt and getting out of Patrick's truck.

She tossed him the keys and entered the restaurant. He followed closely behind.

They were quickly seated, and with some random pointing they were brought something that looked like some form of tofu. Kat smiled at her luck. She had no idea what she had pointed to on the menu; it could have been duck for all she knew. She hoped this meant they might get lucky with their fortune cookies too.

When they had finished their meal, Kat quickly grabbed at the fortune cookies they were brought.

"On the count of three," Patrick said, taking the other one. They nodded at each other and quickly counted before ripping open the cookies.

"My fortune's blank." Kat breathed out slowly. She quickly chewed the cookie and wadded up the fortune.

"Is that good luck or bad luck?" Patrick raised an eyebrow.

"I'm guessing bad," Kat said, looking down to see that she was still in Patrick's body.

"Come on, the night isn't over yet." Patrick said, standing up and grabbing his car keys from Kat.

Kat pulled out a few bills and dropped them on the table before rushing after Patrick. She wondered how he was running in heals so well, and chuckled at all the possible explanations.

"Hurry up, we have stars to gaze at." Patrick yelled at her.

"I'm coming," she glared back at him, and climbed into the passenger seat this time. She watched him glance at her directions before pulling onto the freeway. They sat in awkward silence for a few moments before she decided to say something, "Well, at least this was a nice dinner. I mean you were not terrible."

"Gee, thanks." Patrick replied.

"I mean, I feel like I know you better, and you're a good guy." She tried to explain.

"I think you know me way better after today," he joked.

"Sadly, yea." Kat groaned. She leaned back in her seat and wondered if tomorrow morning she'd wake up in the body again. She briefly considered what would happen if this was permanent. Would it be so bad?

"I miss my body," Patrick whined.

"Me too," Kat nodded.

"And I miss my bed, and my house, and my stuff." Patrick kept going. Kat turned to look at her body. Patrick had tears in her eye.

"Aw, you're pmsing." She commented, giving Patrick a pat on the back.

"No, I'm not. This just sucks." Patrick sniffled.

"Sure, big guy." Kat giggled.

"Stop it," Patrick said, pulling off the freeway and heading towards her house.

"Or what?" Kat asked, actually kind of curious.

"I'll come inside and tell your dad I'm pregnant." He threatened.

"You wouldn't," Kat said, wide eyed.

"Let's just go look at some stars," Patrick said, parking in front of her house.

"Go through the side gate. Let's avoid my dad if possible." Kat said, before grabbing a blanket from her trunk and leading the way.

Patrick nodded and followed her to the backyard. He sat down next to her and lay back.

"It needs to be a shooting star?" Patrick asked.

"Probably, I don't really know." Kat shrugged. She turned to look at Patrick in her body. She looked great tonight. She'd have to remember that Bianca actually had some skills. Maybe she'd let her sister help her out in the future.

"Stop watching me and look at the sky." Patrick gently slapped her shoulder.

"You look really nice," Kat said, before realizing that she was basically just complementing herself.

"Are you tuned on by the image of you?" Patrick asked suddenly sitting up. Kat just sort of stayed silent, feeling guilty. Patrick let out a loud laugh.

"Shut up, it's your body's fault." Kat tried to defend herself. Patrick continued to laugh.

"We could have sex," Patrick mentioned. Kat dropped her guilty smile.

"Don't be an asshole." She said, "I want my body kept STD free."

"Hey, I'm clean." Patrick raised his hands in surrender.

"This isn't your body to mess with, okay? Just remember that and don't be a jerk." Kat said, wondering if she was over reacting.

"Is that…" Patrick pointed up, knocking her out of her rant.

A shooting star passed above them and they both squeezed their eyes shut to make a wish.


End file.
